


Delicious, delicious cook

by Piripulix300



Series: Sanji-centered one shots [9]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Caring Vinsmoke Sanji, Drowning, Friendship, Gen, Hurt Vinsmoke Sanji, Nakamaship, POV Vinsmoke Sanji, Shark - Freeform, Vinsmoke Sanji-centric, and Usopp too, frickin Roronoa again, guess who saves the day?, sanji feeds a hungry shark, saving Sanji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:14:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29848269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piripulix300/pseuds/Piripulix300
Summary: Usually, Sanji’s cooking skills are an asset. They never put him in danger. Not today, though. Today they’ll come to bite him in the ass.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro & Vinsmoke Sanji, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji, Usopp & Vinsmoke Sanji
Series: Sanji-centered one shots [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/929025
Comments: 8
Kudos: 96





	Delicious, delicious cook

“What the hell is a Panda Shark doing here?”

The kitchen on the Sunny was quite big, but it didn’t mean that it was always full of life. It was even rather calm. That’s how Sanji liked it. Sanji often had the kitchen for himself. Sometimes though, he shared it with Robin who came to drink her coffee, or with Brook who liked to play slow jazzy music that the rest of the crew didn’t like as much as the cook did.

All this to say that he wasn’t used to the bumbling chatter of the dynamic duo and their apparent big catch of the day: A Panda Shark with a bump on its head. The bump was comically wide.

“We just caught it!” Usopp panted. He was wet and the water was already starting to pool on the floor. “It was fighting like a madman!”

“I punched it in the face!” Luffy yelled. He wasn’t out of breath like Usopp was, but he was just as wet. What the hell had happened out there?

Sanji thought over the situation. He still didn’t know why the hell those two had brought the Shark in his kitchen instead of putting it in the aquarium but he had a general idea of what they wanted him to do with it anyway. “I can see that.”

“Can you cook it for tonight?” The captain asked. “Nami said we can’t put it in the aquarium ‘cause it ate all the other fish last time.”

The cook felt a rush of happiness at seeing those two in such high spirits. It was hard to say no to those faces. Well. He could make an exception and change his dinner plans for once.

“Nami said so? Alright, I guess I can make Shark sushi for dinner.”

“YEAAAAH! SUSHI! MEAT SUSHI!”

“Shark sushi, Luffy. No exception for you.”

Luffy looked happy anyway. He went his way, arm in arm with Usopp, singing something about sea-meat and how juicy it was.

Sanji let them go as he evaluated the Shark. It was a fine piece of meat, big enough to be the main dish for everyone, bigger even than other Panda Shark were. Not that he was complaining. He rolled up his sleeves and turned away to choose a knife.

That’s when he heard it. A soft grunt coming from behind him. He turned around. He was sure that he had heard something. That was not a noise from outside. He looked everywhere but saw nothing. The shark hadn’t moved and there was no one except him in the room.

He brushed it off and went back to choose his knife.

Another grunt. Sanji turned sharply. He looked back at the shark, waited for a second in silence before walking slowly to the shark. He poked it with the end of his tool.

“Ouch.”

Sanji jumped away. He didn’t yell, but it was close.

“What the hell! Sharks don’t talk!” 

At that, the shark blinked awake. He seemed unbothered by the fact that he was out of the water, but he still had to realise that he was laying on a table and ready to be butchered up and served for diner.

“Who? What? Where am I?” The shark asked. 

The animal blinked awake and rubbed at his bump absent-mindedly with his fin. Sanji didn’t know what to say, the situation was irrational. That was a lot to think about. Could all Panda Sharks speak? If so, why hadn’t they met one before? Maybe... Did they all end up as sushi before being able to utter a word?

“How can you speak?” The cook stammered. 

“Well... All my friends can speak. How can you understand me?” 

“I just... Wait. And you can breathe out of the water?” 

“Oh! I get the problem. You think I’m a Panda Shark. It’s a common mistake. I’m a deep-water Panda Shark. Very different.” 

“Uhu...” 

“Anyway. Do you know how I ended up here? I'm confused. I was chasing my diner. I haven’t had a correct meal for so long! I’m so hungry I could eat a whole school of fish.” 

“Wait, you’re hungry?” 

That, Sanji understood. Deep-water Panda Shark that could speak were a bit out of his league, but he could do something about it being hungry. He turned to his stove and began to take some ingredients out to make a quick snack.

“Wait a second, I can make you something.” 

“Really? You can?!”

Sanji liked challenges. It had been really quiet recently. No weird island and no marines to fight. This was an opportunity he was not about to pass. He supposed the shark preferred raw fish over a complicated dish, but he wanted to make something a little more elaborate than just a fish on a plate. He decided on a carpaccio, with some river fish that a Shark that lived in the sea could never get his fins on. When it was ready, he proudly presented the dish to the Shark, whose stomach had started to growl.

“This looks amazing, thank you!”

For a second, Sanji saw a row of pearl-white teeth and a predatory glance that he didn’t understand, then the animal jumped on the plate and devoured it without a flourish. Sanji couldn’t help but stare with amazement at how the Shark gobbled down his food. When it was finished, the Shark licked its mouth –lips? Shark lips?- with pleasure.

“That was fantastic! You are an awesome cook!”

Sanji let out a huff but couldn’t hold back the smile that perked on his face. It was always nice to receive compliments, even if it was from a weird talking shark.

“Alright. I suppose I can’t cook you now. Don’t move, I’ll carry you out.”

The shark beamed and let itself be taken into the chief’s arms. Sanji didn’t even wobble. He kicked open the kitchen door and went out on the bridge. Immediately, he heard Luffy’s booming voice calling out to him:

“Sanji! What are you doing?”

“Talking shark. Can’t eat it. I’m putting it back.”

He tried not to listen to Luffy's reaction. It was probably along the lines of “A shark that can talk?!” and he knew where this kind of reasoning could lead their captain, so he hurried down the stairs.

“There you go,” Sanji said as he balanced the shark on the guardrail. “And please, next time don’t get caught by a stupid hook.”

“Wait, already?” The shark whined. “You can’t! Your food is so good!”

Sanji heard a few gasps behind him, proving that he hadn’t hallucinated the whole story. Good. He wasn't crazy then. The only problem was that the shark's predatory glance was back, and that this time it was directed at him. Sanji couldn’t back away without dropping the shark, and he couldn't push it in the sea either because the animal was putting all his weight down on him. He had to carry it even if he didn't want to.

“Yeah, I know. Sorry to hear it but if you stay here any longer you’ll end up in shark sashimi.”

“But... You can’t tell me to leave after that! Can’t you cook for my friends too?”

“Listen dumbass, I’m not gonna cook for all your friends! I don’t have enough food here, learn to hunt for yourself, alright? Now would you please go?”

The shark wasn’t having any of it. Sanji tried to push it off the boat but before he could give it a nice little kick to teach it a lesson, the shark came up with a brilliant idea that surprised everyone present.

“Hey, you know what? I’ll bring you to them! Then you can cook with what we have. Alright, that’s settled. Don’t worry I’ll bring you back, let’s go!”

Sanji tried to move away, but he was too close to the shark to have the time to do anything. The shark had amazing reflexes and was faster than Sanji had anticipated. It lunched forward and grabbed Sanji between his teeth. The cook yelled, surprised by the suddenness of a hundred teeth in his torso. His right arm was pinned to his chest in the mouth of the animal. The pain made Sanji's vision flash long enough for the shark to jump out of the boat with him.

Someone yelled his name, there was the rush of water and then silence. The shark had dived in the ocean.

Sanji didn’t know where he was exactly, but he couldn’t breathe and his whole side hurt. The shark was swimming with him in its mouth. Sanji opened his eyes. Yes, definitely underwater. It gave a blurry edge to his vision. What he could grasp was that the surface was receding fast. The sun was already nothing more than a muzzy yellow round in the distance.

“You will love it there!” The shark said, mumbling because it still held the cook between his teeth. “You will cook for my friends and then you’ll stay with us forever. And if you don’t want… Well. I guess we’ll have to eat you then! You taste pretty good as it is.”

Sanji hadn’t had the time to take a breath before and his lungs were screaming. In this position, he couldn't kick anything worthwhile, so he started bumping on the shark’s head with his free arm. The shark didn’t like that. It tightened its grip on its prey. Sanji lost the little air he had left by screaming soundlessly as the sharp teeth dug deeper in the soft flesh.

“Actually, I think I’ll keep you all for myself. You are so delicious!”

Sanji heard noises further away, but the pain and the rushing sound caused by the movement of the water made it so he couldn’t tell what was happening exactly. Eventually, he realised that what he had heard was the sounds of two bodies diving into the water, then the thump of something hitting the shark's skin... Sanji was starting to lose his grasp on reality. When he finally registered that the shark had gone limp, he tried to wiggle free from it but to no avail. It only made him turn even more feeble. Then there was the slash of a sword and the pressure on his side loosened. With the last of his resources, the cook understood that whatever had released him was now holding him. He didn’t care if he was going up or down. He didn’t have enough air. He felt some kind of new sensation in his chest, a liberating sensation bursting in his lungs after what seemed like an eternity of pressure. His eyes closed heavily...

  
  


Air was pushed in his mouth. He accepted it without a fight. The thing that had taken him -he couldn’t, for the life of him, identify who or what it was- was bringing him to the surface now, he was certain of it. Light was stronger than before.

When finally,  _finally_ they broke the surface, he gasped for air and coughed as hard as he could. His body was desperate to breathe. He clutched the person that had saved him because all his strength was focused on expelling all the water from his lungs. His legs had turned into jelly. Somewhere in his mind, he knew who his saviour was, but he couldn't just push him away. It was neither here nor there. His lungs were fighting to survive, did he really care who he was holding onto?

Slowly, they swam to the ladder. Sanji climbed on with legs like jelly. When he finally climbed high enough, hands grabbed him and he was taken away from the edge. He was still coughing, and wheezing, and gasping, but his friends didn't wait for him to catch his breath before packing together around him.

A chorus of voices spoke all together at the same time and he was hugged by multiple crewmembers before they were quickly brushed away by a panicky Chopper.

“Sanji!”

“He’s okay! He’s okay!”

“Alright, stand back everyone! Let him breathe.”

The cough was starting to recede, and his vision was not blurred anymore. The air still burned each time Sanji tried to breathe, but he was getting over it. The hulking form fumbling at his side was probably Chopper. He was poking at his teeth-clawed body.

“What... Uh!”

Sanji’s mind cleared when a flashing pain made him wince. He had tried to get up by putting an arm between him and the ground, but the pain that had appeared had made it clear that it wasn’t worth it.

“No don’t move!” The reindeer said worryingly. “You’re seriously hurt and you still have some teeth stuck in you. If you need to get up I’ll help you.”

Sanji wiggled to disobey, and Chopper fussed inefficiently over him. The cook could see that both Zoro and Usopp were wet, meaning that both of them had jumped to get him. Sanji couldn't make sense of that. Thankfully, Robin the wise archaeologist always seemed to know when she was needed. In a second, she was at his side, with a curious smile pocking on her lips.

“They both jumped,” she explained. “Long-nose-kun needed to have a good view of the shark to shoot it and swordsman-san swam down to get you.”

“Sanji! Are you okay?” Usopp jumped at his sides. His wet hair would take ages to dry. “That was scary!”

For a few overwhelming seconds, Sanji was pressed on all sides by worried crewmembers. He wasn't used to receiving this much attention. Usually, it was he who was doing the hero stuff.

“Now, stop! He is still hurt!” Chopper pushed everyone aside once more before turning to Sanji. “I have to take you to the infirmary. Can you walk?”

“Yeah. Just a sec.”

Farther away, Zoro was wringing out his clothes. Next to him, the now-dead shark was laying. It had been shot straight in the head and slashed at the jaw. Zoro was not looking at him. His perpetual scowl was even more pronounced. He twisted his haramaki one last time to get a few drops out. Usopp was at his sides, struggling with his wet hair, as expected.

“Zoro, Usopp…?”

The swordsman locked eyes with the cook. Usopp stopped what he was doing to look at him with surprise.

“Tch. That’s what you get for feeding wild animals.” Zoro said before turning away from Sanji's pale face. “Next time, cook the god-damned thing before it eats you.”

“Yeah, well... Thank you.”

Zoro stomped away in silence but Usopp, extremely glad to have been useful, started a whole rant about his heroic rescue. Chopper decided that enough was enough and he carried Sanji to the infirmary by himself since his patient didn't want to move. The cook didn't mind. He had a lot to think about.

The first order of business was to find out if he had any recipe for deep-water Panda Sharks.


End file.
